Understanding responses in communication

Too often, people remain unaware of the effect their behavior has during ordinary communication.
In everyday conversations with those closest to us, an important truth is often overlooked.

Most responses people give come from one of three places:
a developed response, a traumatic response, or a calculated one.

A developed response comes from awareness and emotional maturity.
A calculated response comes from strategy or self-interest.
But a traumatic response comes from unresolved wounds.

When someone reacts from trauma, they are not truly responding to you.
They are responding to something within themselves that has not yet been healed.

For this reason, it is important not to take every reaction personally.
What you receive is often not about you at all.

When possible, gently help others become aware of these patterns.
But also understand that many people avoid their own healing process.

Facing unresolved pain requires courage,
and not everyone is ready to take that step.

— David John